Laying Off the Plaid

I am a hobo. I am convinced. It is the only plausible explanation for my wardrobe. It would also explain why I spent part of my afternoon hunched under a parking garage overhang that smelled of pee. Granted, that was spontaneous and hopefully a one-time occurence, BUT totally hoboesque behavior, you must agree.
The wardrobe, on the other hand, NOT a one-time thing. The primary colored ensembles, the wacky contrasting leggings, and the 90% Exchange-powered getups are making me self-conscious for the first time in... forever? We know me, we know my style, we also know that if I am self-conscious then something is majorly amuck (probs the plaid-on-plaid thing I sometimes end up wearing-- always experimental, never entirely successful).
So, in attempt to remedy my once original now rapidly approaching tacky tacksville dressing habits, I ask you this favor: if you ever see me step out sporting more than 3 colors 2 or more spaces away from each other on the color wheel, please stop me, spin me back around, and give me a gentle nudge in the direction of my closet. Hopefully I will see sense and do a little switcharoodle into one of the following combos: